Back to 2

What an adventure we have had the past 6 months! We went through adjustments, learning of roles and routines, figuring out each person's strengths and challenges, and built from awkward interactions to true feelings of family unity.
The development of the girls in the last 6 months has been amazing to see. The 3 year old went from a child who pouted often, rarely smiled, and was afraid to talk to most adults, to a bubbly, smiley, positive little girl. She is very smart and was excited for me to teach her to write almost all the letters and some simple words. The 2 year old would often disengage, not talk, and seemed to destruct many things she touched, but turned into a sweet little girl who would talk in complete sentences and could keep up playing with the big kids. The 2 year old is completely potty trained and learned to wash and dress herself.
Both girls learned what it means to listen the first time you are asked, to wait more patiently, to use words when you are upset, to ask nicely and say please and thank you. They learned that candy and cookies are not good for you, and broccoli and zucchini are - and that they do like these foods! They also learned how to deal with and how to love two big brothers.

The boys experienced a lesson to last a lifetime on how God puts people in places at certain times and always wants us to try our best and be selfless, nice and helpful. They also learned and began to show how patient you have to be with toddlers. Will had a chance to be a big brother and took his role seriously trying to physically help the girls and talk to them to teach them new things.

I learned that having 4 children truly does create double the laundry and dishes and the amount of language to hear, process and respond to feels like it takes more than double the brain power. However, the work to meet all children's needs and go out and do things wasn't as hard as I imagined.
Unfortunately, I  mainly learned how broken our child welfare system is. The lack of communication, concern and support for one in the role of a foster parent is disappointing. I often disagreed that the decisions they were making were in the best interest of the children.  I said many times, dealing with the kids- that part was pretty easy for me. Dealing with the "system" that I could not handle!

 So with bitter sweetness we announce that the girls have left our home to be reunited with their mom. Mom has stayed clean and complied with CPS since we got the girls.
This morning, I took the girls to move in with their mom.
It was very difficult taking them from our house where they have cozy beds, lots of toys, positive role models, and attend a great therapeutic preschool and drop them with their mom at a residential rehab center surrounded by not-so positive role models.
We question  mom's ability to transition to being a full time mom and her ability stay clean with very little support.
I worry about how much progress made by the girls will be lost, and where they may end up.
But overall, we know our worry alone will not change things. Instead we hope for the best, pray for the girls and their mom, and ask others to do so as well.

Thank you to those who have supported us along this journey.

From 2 children to 4... literally overnight

We have taken in 2 foster children, they are sisters - ages 2 and 3.

I have been a member of a group through our church called Reaching Orphans and Children at Risk. Last summer a request for  someone to help a grandma who was caring for two toddlers came out. I waited to respond, and when I did, I asked if anyone volunteered to help. When they said no, I took that as my cue.
We have been helping grandma (who cared for the girls most of the time) out since, occasionally taking the girls for the day and some overnights. Since then, both parents have been unable to care for the girls. There is no other family or friends of the family  that want the girls. Grandma has been caring for them but is older in age and is worn out, and overwhelmed. We kept thinking and praying on what to do if they went into Foster Care.
That time has come and we offered to take them into our home. We are considered Non Related Extended Family Members (NREFM). This means we are approved to be just these girls' foster parents because we knew them before they were taken in by CPS (We are not licensed foster parents that take in any/all kids)

To answer FAQ's:

1. Are you crazy?
Yes, I am but that is nothing new.

2. Isn't it going to be hard for you to take in 2 toddlers, on top of caring for your children and everything else you do?
Yes, very hard. We are scared and we are nervous, not denying that. But this is where faith comes in,  Now, we will have to lean on God much like he wishes everyone would do. I cannot do this on my own without God. Prayers will be more frequent for sure. They already are.
And we plan on asking you all for help :)
I also watch 19 Kids and Counting. If they can handle 19 shouldn't I be able to handle 4??

3. What happens after you have them?
There is no for sure answer. The case is open until the end of October, but will likely be extended a few more months. At that point, there is a small chance they will go back with Mom, but we will always try to prepare for that fact as best as possible. If they become adoptable, and things are going well with all of us in our family then we would adopt them.

4. Aren't you worried about it affecting your boys?
Yes, but it is also a chance for them to learn more about faith, love, caring, sharing, and the importance of taking care of those who need it most.

5. Why do this?
When I had two boys, I had a gut feeling there was a reason I did not have a girl. Ahh, sneaky God I thought he might be up to something. And that was before we became regular church goers. What if this is our purpose but we passed it up because our house wasn't quite big enough, or we didn't want to give up the settled patterns we are in?
The thought of changing someone's life for the better, or two lives in this case, would be worth it.


So with all that said, we ask for your prayers, well wishes, and we will probably be asking for your help in other ways (you know that saying it takes a village??)